Co-Founder of Freedom Folk and Soul, Stephanie Urbina Jones is honored to become an author of the profound book - Sacred Death
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CHAPTER 4 - MIDWIFING MIRACLES AND MESSENGERS OF LOVE
“I can’t remember how many million tears I’ve cried Nights that I have stayed awake asking God why
This world is sometimes filled with so much pain and sorrow Wondering if the sun would ever shine on my tomorrow”
I was born into a bicultural home in the heart of San Antonio, Texas. My first memories were ones of friends and family, backyard barbecues, tamales, country music, mariachis, and the safety of my abuelito’s arms. He was my person. I was his Patootie. I’d almost always be perched beside him on my rooster stool he bought me, watching Mexican wrestling or Sabado Gigante while my grandmother made Pollo con Arroz and my favorite red enchiladas. Each day he would take my little hand and walk me down to the corner pharmacy for chocolate ice cream, and on special days I’d cuddle up to him in his Pontiac and ride down to Rays Drive-In where he’d order chalupas, a Pearl beer, and a Big Red for me. We’d sit there for hours, dropping quarters in the jukebox listening to Hank Williams, Patsy Cline, Ray Price, and Boleros from Mexico. He adored me like no one did or ever would.
While things were crazy in my young parents’ home, they were joy-filled and calm at my abuelo’s house at 115 North Cibolo. There, friends and family came and went, the radio from the border blared, and there was always a pot of beans on the stove. I had no idea then that things were about to change. Soon my grandpa went from three-piece suits and shined up shoes to striped pajamas and slippers. First, he lost his toe, then his foot, and then they amputated his leg up to his hip. All I knew was that I was so grateful to spend more time with my grandpa. I don’t remember the day he died, but I know that life went from technicolor to black and white overnight. Soon I was standing in the doorway of a big room with a wooden box at the front. I had no idea what I was walking into. I was so happy to see my tias, tios, family, neighbors, and loved ones. At some point, I, too, made my way up to the box at the front of the room. I stood on the steps and peeked in. There in front of me was my ghost-white grandpa. I let out a curdling scream that came from deep inside of me, calling for him to “come back!” I wanted to climb in that box and go with him wherever he had gone. I loved him so much. He was my safe place, the one who got me and kept the family and my parents, who were now divorced, calm. I was inconsolable. At four years old, as they laid him in the grave, a part of me died and went with him. I was frozen in time, and it would take many years for that little girl to find her way back to life.
“Sometimes sadness seems like an old friend
Someone who really knows just how hard it’s been
Tears come to me and give dignity to the secrets in my soul Till I am all cried out and ready to let go”
Time marched on from my teens to my twenties, and I gratefully discovered music to keep me grounded and connected to life. I had a suitcase record player, and it reached into my closet where I could almost...
Stephanie Urbina Jones with Freedom Folk and Soul is a #1 Billboard Songwriter and International, History Making Recording Artist. Stephanie is available for Transformational Concerts , Speaking Engagements, Sacred Journey Breathwork and Cacao Ceremonies in Person or Online, Teaching and Training on the Medicine Wheel, Healing Arts, Native American and Shamanic Studies, Reiki and Shamanic Counseling, Firewalks, Drum Circles, Toltec Dreaming, Ministery of the Healing Arts Training, Blogging and to Lead Journeys of Transformation all Over the World.
This book features lyrics and wisdom from:
Stephanie Urbina Jones' music-
Shaman Heart -
The Bittersweet Beautiful Ride
I've Healed I've Hurt Gone from Bad to Worse
Come Out Better On the Other Side
Of This Bittersweet Beautiful RideShaman Heart - The Bittersweet Beautiful Ride
One woman's prayer in the dark and journey of faith, in song — from being born to love, to making peace with her past and troubled soul through unraveling, wandering through the wilderness, to finally being born from the blues and finding something to sing about. She reclaims her innocence, begins living and loving, gratefully, hand to faith and finally finds the freedom, passion, and purpose in chiselin' out her soul through the whole bittersweet beautiful ride. In Shaman Heart, Jones opens up her heart and her closet to share the skeletons that were the medicine that freed her soul.
From the Artist:
As far back as I can remember music has been my medicine. When things got tough I'd grab my suitcase record player, pull it into my closet and play "You've Got A Friend" by Carole King over and over again while rocking myself to sleep. Somehow over the miles her heart and spirit touched mine. As I grew so did my longing for love and connection. This record is my journey in song. May it sing to you in the dark nights of your soul and give you hope in those moments of doubt.
Nine Months of Magic
In January 2017, I reluctantly saddled up as I usually do to try to get my weight along with my body, mind and soul back on track after a season of over indulging and not being connected. Fairly soon into my regular meditation this inspired thought and very clear vision followed by a course of action came to me insisting it was time for me to record an EP to be ready for the Gathering of Shamans where I was booked to be the featured music artist in May with some of the leading spiritual teachers of our time. I tried to push the thought out of my mind but it was persistent and insistent and so I reluctantly gave into being willing to do something about it. Since I am a musician living hand to faith every month I did not have the financial resources so I prayed and humbly asked a few folks who believe in my music if they would help me make this album. They all said NO. It wasn't the right time, they didn't feel called to it or have the money. Honestly I was relieved. I wrote in my journal " Dear GOD sorry, I did what you asked me to do but they all said no." I truly was grateful as I didn't know if I was ready inside to share outside my most intimate details of painfully learning how to live. You see I had been writing "THESE" songs for well over 20 years. These were the songs I kept in my closet as they were too personal to my own experience. They were born from the dark nights of my soul, from my pain and from my own prayer in the dark.
Fast forward one month later on February 24,2017 I was sharing my music and "THESE" songs on a power journey to the Pyramids of Teotihuacan, Mexico with 29 other folks seeking personal freedom and a better life. I had come into the kitchen of the Dreaming House for some coffee and it was there that I was cornered by two powerful women Teri and Judy, who sat me down and asked me "Why don't you have a copy of "THESE " songs?" I laughed and shared my persistent vision from January and told them what I always said when asked about "THESE" songs. "It takes time and money and I don't have either right now." That answer was not good enough for these two fiery red heads and they spontaneously began organizing a funding campaign to make the EP, insisting it needed to be done NOW. I brushed their enthusiasm off knowing good and well how much work, time and effort it takes to do a funding campaign. I also knew I did not have that time to spare with my schedule up ahead filled up for all of 2017 in tours and teachings across the US, Mexico and Europe, not to mention being a wife and mom. Just as I was about to say NO Judy called my bluff and said she was donating $2500 if I started recording immediately. She went on to share that her aunt Helen who was a music teacher had just passed on Nov 24, 2016 and left her a little inheritance. She said aunt Helen would be so happy to know that her life blood in gifted money was going to touch lives through music, her great passion. Well there I was in the Dreaming House in a puddle of tears and surrender. God has a plan and God knows it wasn't mine. I knew this was holy and I knew that I had to say YES. I did an impromptu but powerful photo shoot by photographer who happened to be on the journey, Sue Schweitzer, on top of the pyramid of the sun and called my friend George Bradfute at Tone Chapparal. We landed on Monday February 27th at 10pm and I was in the studio recording by 9am Tuesday with Montezumas Revenge. I was so sick I had to let go. I reluctantly got out of the way and magic happened. A few days later I had to humbly ask a few more people to help us finish making the EP and Jeremy and I maxed out our holy roller credit card to keep the dream alive. We stepped out on faith along with doubt but once we said YES there was no turning back.
On Friday April 6, the 6 song EP was delivered to Sedona, Arizona where I shared and sang my insides out in a public way for the first time in my life. Who knew so many people had felt the same way at some point in their life and were seeking a life of more freedom, passion and purpose. There I was on stage with one of the authors and teachers who had touched my life and taught me how to love, Don Miguel Ruiz, best selling author of the Four Agreements, along with an amazing woman author, teacher and friend Heather Ash Amara and the Ruiz Brothers. It was a full circle, amazing moment I could not even have imagined.
Miraculously and not surprisingly, another angel on this earth heard the EP in June and without me asking gifted me the ability to record the rest of the album. She too said it was put on her heart to help me make this music and that the world needed it now. I once again humbly surrendered and headed back to the studio the day after my European tour in September 2017. Amazingly on November 24, 2017, the day after Thanksgiving, the same day aunt Helen died one year before and exactly 9 months after I was given the seed money for this album in Teotihuacan, Mexico, Shaman Heart - the Bittersweet Beautiful Ride, was born and given back to life and to all of those who need it the most. I have been in labor with this album for 20 years as I wrote most of these songs in my own search for love and personal freedom. These songs were my own experience, strength and hope I found along the way. They are the skeletons that were my medicine.
This album is a thanks giving to so many who were mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, teachers, preachers, friends and witnesses on my journey. My prayer is that these songs find their way to the hearts and souls of the people who need them most. May they feel like I did listening to " You've Got A Friend", so many years ago, that they are not alone, that there is purpose in the pain, and our pain can become our medicine to lead our lives with more compassion, passion, purpose, freedom and love.
Resources for Connecting to Your Loved One:
One of the most powerful resources that I have found to honor my grief and to connect with my ancestors and messages of love is through Freedom Folk and Souls Sacred Journey Breathwork. Through guided meditation, deep circular breathing and my hearts intent, I often drop into altered states of consciousness and am guided to my own healing and connection to the divine.
Below is a link to a one hour Sacred Journey Breathwork along with instructions from me and Jeremy Pajer, co- founders of Freedom Folk And Soul, A Transformational Community of the Healing Arts. We are honored to connect with you and share this sacred medicine that has helped to transform our pain into purpose. You’re welcome to email us at email@example.com if you have any questions or would like any more information on the work we do in the world. We honor you and your Sacred Journey in Life and Death.
Sacred Journey Breathwork
Join Stephanie in writing her book and journey, click below for information on project:
An Authors Power Journey
Turning Your Pain Into Purpose in the Pyramids of Teotihuacan, Mexico
January 5th -11th 2022